A peaceful relationship is a joyful relationship. However, all relationships have their ups and downs and yours will be no exception. It takes a lot for two adults from totally different socialization to spend large amounts of time together in harmony so do not be worried by the occasional disagreement. How the two of you react to your differences though will be the make or break.
[dt_quote type=”blockquote” font_size=”big” background=”fancy”]Embrace the fact that there will be slight disagreements between you two once in a while and they have to be confronted and dealt with. If they are left unresolved they will lead to resentment and hard feelings.[/dt_quote] These are much harder to erase so make it a habit to iron out your issues as soon as possible when they crop up. Actually, how you deal with these flare ups will give you a deeper insight into each other’s psyche so that in the event of future differences, you both know what approach to take.
If quarrels do come up, fight fairly and respectfully. Recognize the problem and fight about that particular problem without personalizing issues and making it about your partner and his/her character. Let your fights not be opportunities to dig up incidences from years back. Strive to handle one thing at a time and keep to the subject. If the argument is about money, discuss it until you both come to a solid conclusion about money. Do not drag in issues about a problematic mother-in-law or drinking habits unless those are the current problem. The idea is to talk issues over and get to the bottom of them without hurting your partner’s feelings unnecessarily.
[dt_quote type=”pullquote” layout=”left” background=”fancy” font_size=”big” size=”3″]Wrong words can cause irreparable damage to any relationship. Couples are prone to spit out very harsh words when in the middle of a quarrel. Check yourselves before it is too late.[/dt_quote]
If tempers flare and an argument gets too heated, by all means take some time out, do other things and come back to it when you’ve both cooled down. Take the time to do something relaxing to clear your mind. You can go for a short walk or sit calmly and have a cup of coffee. This valuable time off will have allowed both of you to see things from each other’s eyes. This way you will both be more flexible and willing to cede ground and come to a conclusion to your argument. In a disagreement, it may very well be that you both have valid points. Keep stubbornness aside and listen to one another. Strive to come to a loving and forgiving conclusion to your arguments.
Whenever possible work together on your problems without bringing in third parties in the form of family and friends. Unless chosen very wisely, third parties may take sides and drive a wedge between the two of you, aggravating the situation even further. It is your relationship and problems belong to both of you. If the worst comes to the worst and problems arise that are beyond you two, see a minister or therapist to give you a professional formula on how to avoid crossing each other and how to deal with it if it happens.