Relationships are all about sharing and being in one another’s space for a long time or even for life. But being one part of a couple does not mean that you lose yourself and your ideals. You will still have your individual passions and interests that you wish to pursue. Yes, you’re in love and have vowed to keep as close to your partner as is humanly possible but this unfortunately can be quite suffocating for either or both of you with time. Remember you’re individuals first and lovers second. Love yourself and maintain your individuality and this will in turn make it easier for your partner to love you. Boundaries play a major role in your relationship in ensuring that you’re neither too clingy nor too distant.
Healthy boundaries should be established early in the relationship. Explain to your partner the areas in your life that you want to keep control of. It may be that you want some time to yourself every once in a while to gather your thoughts, or maybe you just want to explore your hobbies and interests alone or with friends. If you have been together for long and then one of you starts introducing changes in personal space and time, the other may feel alienated and wonder what has changed and whether you’re beginning to love them less. This is one of the surest ways of planting resentment and mistrust in your relationship. Therefore, set your boundaries early.
Boundaries are largely about compromise and keeping them does not mean that you build unnecessary walls all around yourself. Be realistic and easy with your partner and do not go as far as locking him/her out of your life. For example, you cannot expect to have your long wild singles weekends when you’re in a serious relationship. Every once in a while re-evaluate your boundaries and adjust according to the changes and developments in your lives. New boundaries may come up and old ones may no longer be applicable and may need discarding.
Boundaries do not make you any less close or less in love. In the end love wins.