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In the recent past there have been a great number of cases of Kenyan ladies being killed or abused by foreign men. There was the case of the lady that was found dead in a hotel room after her foreign lover drowned her in the toilet bowl, the other one that involved a man dumping his wife on social media who he claimed had stolen one million Kenyan shillings and a car from him. It later turned out that the lady was running away from torture and abuse that the man would inflict on her. Most recently there is the case of the lady that committed suicide after her meet with her foreign man went sideways. It is a sad thing really, a sorrowful story of the get-rich-die-trying phrase, literally.

For a person that has been on (and quit) lots of foreign dating sites, I have to say that there are many reasons why our ladies are falling victim to these foreign men that promise heaven only to deliver hell in its most fiery form and I seek to air them out in a bid to educate and create awareness.

The notion that all foreign men are wealthy

This (false) notion is probably the main reason why so many girls fall into the trap of evil foreign men. I’d blame this on the tonnes of movies that are aired on our screens that show men living the high life oversees, but that would not be entirely true. Simply because they spend their holidays at some fancy hotel by some African beach does not mean that they are wealthy, let alone good. Chances are, the economy and the foreign exchange rate, are extra favourable for them. Ladies need to learn that foreign does not necessarily mean stinking rich. Sometimes, it means, ‘opportunity to get into Kenya, what with the not-so-great security, commit a crime and get walk away scot-free from it.’

Peer influence

Friends can be the make or break of us, and in some cases, they are the main reason for our undoing. Influence from peers and friends who have gone the foreign way can cause a person to want to try it out, just by virtue of how the friends present it to be such a classy and beneficial thing. Some friends even hang out their friends as control experiments, just to see how the entire thing goes- to try it out if it works or to avoid it if the deal goes sideways.

Get Rich-Quick-and-Easy Mentality

Humans are generally most vulnerable when they need to get money fast. The notion above creates a certain mentality that foreign men are more of a business opportunity, and young girls seek to land a wealthy mzungu regardless of the age, who will meet them today, move in with them tomorrow, marry them the day after, and turn their lives from gutter to glory. Microwave results. This is why most of these men will come, use and abuse our young girls, who will stand them with the hope that at the end of it they will be smiling all the way to the bank, or in the very least have an iPhone.

Success stories

There are many ladies who have found true love in amazing men who are not Kenyan, who have gone ahead to build families that are totally jealousy-worthy, in a good way. Many young women look at these and desire to have exactly the same thing, but not bothering to inquire about how the couples met and what they have been through. They want the results without caring a horse about the process. The truth is that one man’s meat is another’s poison. Stories of success should not blind you so much so that you cannot see the faults in a person who might end up ending your life. That social media is free and accessible to all, does not mean that it should be used as a tool to trap young girls and abuse them. Rather, it should be used to create awareness about this issue and to prevent more of our young beautiful ladies from falling victim to evil foreign men.

At the end of the day, it is all about discretion and discernment, being able to decide whether a man, whether foreign or Kenyan, is worth ending life for. That social media is free and accessible to all, does not make it a tool to lure and victimize young girls to their deaths. Rather it should be used to create awareness and to prevent more of our beautiful young ladies from falling into the traps of evil foreign men.

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