QuarelIn a solid relationship, you’re spending hours, or even a lifetime together and inevitably, fights will more often than not crop up between you as you go about your day to day business. Some fights are major and could easily dent your union but others are negligible and will only seem big if one half of the couple makes them so. For the sake of a peaceful and lasting relationship, it is crucial to differentiate what to and what not to waste energy fighting over.

Extreme fights may be just as bad for your relationship as bottling things up and pretending that your relationship is in such good shape that you don’t fight. If you feel aggrieved, by all means it is necessary and even healthy for the long term wellbeing of your relationship to clear the air. However, don’t let every little thing get to you. Fight only for what is necessary and is threatening to strain your love. If your aim when fighting is just to anger or hurt your partner other than to look at the origin of the problem and try to solve it, then the fight goes beyond the actual cause to damaged egos and resentment.

Before you react to anything in anger, ask yourself a few questions. Is this issue really important? Is it such a big deal that your partner forgot to buy something small from the supermarket in town? Are there other ways of solving this problem? Can you buy the same item from the convenience store nearby? Chances are, there will always be an alternative way out of small time situations and these are what you should be looking at instead of belittling your partner with unnecessary sideshows. Other than getting mad that your boyfriend/girlfriend forgot to buy washing liquid for example, take a fun walk together to the nearest shop and buy some.

Look at the facts of the matter and look at yourself in relation to them. Maybe you’re getting into a fight just because you’re always inclined to take the opposite side of things. This may have to do with your upbringing and socialization but in a relationship you will need to compromise for the sake of peace. Take a few seconds to think through the issue at hand and you might be surprised to realize how trivial it is. You may just end up laughing it off hence getting back to your peaceful selves.

The true sign of maturity is when someone hurts you and you try to understand their situation instead of trying to hurt them back – The Good Vibe.

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